Report

2. JANUARY 2015


A BAND OF PIRATES THAT DOES NOT SEEM TO BE IN LEAGUE WITH THE NOTORIOUS SHARK PIRATES HAVE BEEN SEEN ROAMING IN THE CITY. REPORTS STATE THAT DESPITE THEIR SPACEY BEHAVIOR, THEY HAVE NOT MADE HARM OF ANY KIND.
THEY ARE HOWEVER BUILDING UP AT A DISTURBING RATE AND WILL BE CLOSELY WATCHED BY THE SOVEREIGN.
STEVEN JR. SAYS: "THERE IS INDEED SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THE LOT. STILL, THEY WILL NOT BE RESTRICTED AT THE TIME BEING SEEING AS THEY HAVE COMPLETED QUESTS IN THE INTEREST OF THE SOVEREIGN. THEY HAVE DONE SO WITH GREAT SKILL AND THEIR FREE PASSING MIGHT VERY WELL BE IN THE FAVOR OF THE PORT OF WINDS".
CHEIF OF DEFENCE, COMMANDER COLIN STATES THAT HE WILL KEEP HIS HENCEMEN FOLLOWING THE PACK IN THE SHADOW AND HAND IN REPORTS OF ANY ACTIVITY. "YOU ARE BEING WATCHED, PIRATE DOGS!"

THESE NEWS HAS BEEN BOUGHT TO YOU BY PORT OF WINDS NEWS PRESS: WORD ON WIND. THANKS FOR TUNING IN.

...
ADDITION MADE TO THE REGULAR NEWS VERSION:
One claiming to be the leader of this mysterious band have given us an exclusive comment to Colin's statement earlier today:
"I don't care what you hear, I don't care what you know. Get ready cause this lassy is sharing the flow. Colin man, you better beware, you better prepare; cause this blade is going up your rear!"
This sassy lass is calling herself Laze and explains that her group have no plans of plundering or pillaging Port of Winds. As long as they are left be, their only interests with the Lord's men is to complete quests for mutual gain.

3. JANURAY 2015


IT HAS BEEN SEEN THAT THE GANG OF THIS "LAZE" HAS ORGANIZED INTO A GUILD. DONY THE GUILD MANAGER CAN CONFIRM THIS. DONY REPORTS THAT HE HELPED A MASKED GRENADIER REGISTER A GUILD NAMED "ZeHero" WITH THE WHITE SUN ON PURPLE FLAG. AT THE TIME HE DID NOT THINK MUCH OF THIS, BUT AFTER BEING CONTACTED BY WoW, HE DID SEE THAT IT WAS INDEED AS THE KNOWN GANG FROM THE NORTHERN. DONY IS FORBIDDEN TO LEAK PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT HIS CLIENTS, BUT HE SAYS THAT THE ONE TO REGISTER THE GUILD TOLD HIM THAT IF HE, FOR SOME CRAZY REASON, SHOULD BE ASKED ABOUT THE DEAL BY THE PRESS OR OTHERS, THAT HE COULD SAY THAT IT WAS DONE ON BEHALF OF ONE "LAZE". "AGAIN THIS LAZE NAME" SAYS OUR REPORTER, "I THINK IT MIGHT BE THE CASE...". YES, RUBEN, IT WOULD SEEMS TO LEAD TO THAT. SPACEY PIRATES RUNNING AROUND DOING THEIR FISHY BUSINESS LEAD BY LAZE. AS YOU MIGHT ALREADY HAVE CONCLUDED YOURSELF, DEAR VIEWER, IT DOES INDEED SEEM TO BE THE CASE THAT

THANKS FOR TURNING IN!

4. JANUARY 2015


TODAY MAGMA DRAKE LAVALON, AN USUAL READER OF WOW, SENT IN HIS COMPLAINS ABOUT THE NEW PIRATE BAND KNOWN AS ZEHERO: "I WAS TAKING A RELAXING BATH IN FRESH LAVA WHEN THIS LITTLE GIRL WITH A WAY TOO BIG GUN BARGED IN AND STARTED SHOOTING UP MY TOYS. I TRIED TO SHOUT AND PUSH HER AWAY, BUT SHE THEN USED MY BATH CANNON TO SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! WHAT NERVE! IT IS EMBARRASSING TO TALK ABOUT... IT RESULTED IN SUCH A HEADACHE. LATER THAT DAY, WHEN I WAS READING MY FAVORITE NEWS PAPER, THE WOW (EDITER'S COMMENT: OH, WHAT A NICE DRAKE!), THE SAME GIRL CAME BACK AGAIN. AGH! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE HAD BROUGHT WITH HER THIS OTHER CHAP. THE TWO OF THEM MADE SUCH A MESS OF MY TABLE. WORST OF ALL, THE BLUE HAIRED DOUCHE SMACKED ME IN THE FACE WITH A TUNA. A GODDAMN TUNA, I TELL YOU!"
OH WOW, ROUGH DAY, EH? GOT YOUR OWN STORIES TO SHARE ABOUT THIS FISHY PACK, SEND THEM IN!

REGULAR REPORT FROM DONY THE GUILD MANAGER:
"THEY ARE A LIVELY LOT. TODAY THEY COMPLETED A SERIES OF ABOUT 35 GUILD QUESTS WHICH LEAD THEM TO LEVEL UP THEIR GUILD. THEY SHOW MUCH INTEREST IN OUR BUSINESS AND DO INVESTMENTS TOO. TODAY THEY BOUGHT THE ADRENALINE AND PHYSICAL ATTACK BOOST SKILLS, AS WELL AS OPENING UP THEIR OWN GUILD VAULT. THEY STORE THE STRANGEST THINGS ..."
THANK YOU, DONY! WE HOPE FOR ANOTHER REPORT SOON!

AND THANK TO YOU, VIEWER, FOR TURNING IN TODAY TOO!